our love story

Posted by james (manila, Philippines) on 22 October 2007 in Abstract & Conceptual and Portfolio.

I cried this morning, feeling so empty and lonely. Somehow I must confess that I am feeling so alone. And this feeling…. Sucks!

The conviction that I have been holding unto over these past few years seems to start to waver…

Will I ever find her, the very person who sees this life as the way I do. “How can the two walk together, if they have not first agreed?” Bible declared with wisdom.

Well I am a fool, unable to comprehend it thoroughly, unable to fight against the torrents of hormonal surge.

I am lonely.
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Traveling to Xiamen, alone, and wondered to Gulangyu, the place that I have never been to, a wall attracted me. In fact, it glued me for over half an hour. My camera ran low bat. Took only one shot. And it was good. I like it so much.

It was my birthday. alone. Gulangyu.

Just the wall and me.

“Loser!” my imaginary friend, Sophia, yelled.
___

They say that I am a hopeless romantic. I want to fall in love, but I can’t. Somehow I can’t. Something is holding me back. It is not my past, rather it is the future.

“You really should not think that much, thinking less will make you happier!” Dana said.

“yeah…. I guess so…” still thinking.
____

I wrote a poem for a girl named Steph. Somehow we have remained as friend. She bid me no, after I told her that I want to be a missionary doctor to China one day.

Lesson learned, one should never be so honest!

But somehow, I have remained true to myself.

This is for her,

do you remember the smell of the forest?

the embrace of the ocean?

the sweet caress of the wind?

such is my love for you....

softly, tenderly, creatively do I love you,

the first hand of God's creation,

the first touch of my love.
____

One day, I am going to find her. And I will bring her to this wall, back to this magical place, gulangyu, xiamen, china.

Maybe on my birthday….

This time,

Not alone.

Just the wall, me and you

and our love story, engraved on this scratchy wall.

james